Ethembeni wedding

There were eight children ranging from 16 years down to 1½ years, five girls and three boys, living with their parents in the tiny two-roomed house. The mother was a shy, quiet woman, while the father was chatty, with a patch over the eye he had lost in a drunken brawl some years before. They had no income due to the fact that they were disabled by Aids and because despite repeated efforts to obtain an ID, the mother had not qualified to apply for grants for her children. Their sustenance came mainly from the vegetables the father grew in the garden next to the house.



Yet the moment we entered the house, we sensed an atmosphere of joy and peace. Joy and Wandile’s eyes lit up when they told how their lives had been changed since they had met the Lord. Wandile said glowingly: “ Since Jesus has come to live in this house, everything is so different ~ there are no arguments, the children are respectful and all of us go regularly to church as a family. There is peace and harmony here such as we never imagined could happen.” Their main desire was to get married in true Christian fashion, in the way God would honour.



Because it was none other than the Spirit that had prompted this desire, and because their motive was sincere, and because Wandile had been faithful to his partner and was the father of all eight children ( a rarity in the Zulu culture), we felt inspired to do everything we could to make this happen.



Grant set about liasing with Pastor Mjwara of the AoG Church in Mpophomeni, Tutu, my assistant got all the Ethembeni staff fired up, and Glenys sought out a smart suit for Wandile from amongst the second-hand clothing in the church basement. He was so excited when he tried it on and said: “All I need now is a pair of new sunglasses, a tie and socks!” That was all he ever asked for ~ Joy asked for nothing at all. It seemed appropriate that the five girls should be bridesmaids, and as the weather was still quite warm, I made the dresses without sleeves. I had already made the wedding gown, which fitted Joy beautifully.



However, time dragged on because of repeated failed efforts to obtain an ID, and I was beginning to worry as Winter was fast approaching. Anyway, on a chilly June, the great day finally came. Excitement filled the air and the weather was perfect. Kathy, Anne and two of the Ethembeni staff were already at the house to dress the bridal party. The neighbours had begun to congregate in the street as each bridesmaid was sent out into the sunshine to have their photos taken by Moses, our photographer. Tutu and Thembelihle helped the bride with her veil while Anne fixed the bridegroom’s tie, and I placed a folded new handkerchief in his breast pocket, and a chrysanthemum buttonhole on his jacket lapel.



Finally the couple appeared in the doorway to the chorus of loud ululation by the crowd which had swelled quite considerably in the street. Joy looked resplendent in her lace and tulle gown, and Wandile with head and face clean-shaven, looked quite dapper in his suit, sunglasses and white gloves!



In convoy, we drove to the Family Centre where a tent had been erected, I in the first car with all the bridesmaids waving their posies out the window and the hooter blaring through the streets of Mpophomeni. Anne followed with our two Zulu assistants, and Kathy came last with the bridal couple and two of the boys ~ also blaring the hooters!



By the way, while we waited those weeks for this event to take place, another baby girl had been born. At 2 months now, she was dressed in a warm white bunny suit for the occasion, and not to be outdone, the boys were provided with new jackets and shoes.



Thembelihle, bless her heart, had made herself an outfit to match the girls’ dresses, and had bought sufficient lime green chiffon and white lace to drape the rear of the tent. She had taught the girls a dance step to which they entered the service, to the keyboard music and singing, blaring through the sound systems. They looked very sweet as they entered, led by Thembelihle and little six year-old Minenhle. When the girls were seated, she went back and re-entered with the groom dancing at her side, and finally, she came in with the bride who walked sedately towards her man who met her halfway down the aisle.



Pastor Mjwara’s message to them was inspired and full of wise advice to the couple. There was the exchange of vows and rings, the kissing of the bride, and later, the cutting of the cake ~ all of which was somewhat foreign to the Zulu custom. However, the songs of praise and worship not only filled the tent, but rang out into the community beyond. During refreshments of cake and juice, there were speeches, and the bride and groom each shared their testimonies. I believe God smiled on that ceremony that day. I believe it was a witness of true commitment to one another and to God, to their children and to everyone who was present. We congratulate them for the stand they have taken, and may they continue to honour their commitment.



The celebration lasted until 3 pm when I took the bridal party back to their home, where their family were waiting to cook a meal and continue with the festivities.



A truly happy and God-glorifying day!



Nora Levang.