Celebrating goodbyes at the Family Centre

In the Family Centre, our aim is always to encourage and promote independence and growth of families, not to create dependence upon our limited resources which are very finite. We wish to encourage children and their caregivers to grow in family relationships so that they are nurturing for the child, to access appropriate resources such as social grants to which they are entitled, and to grow in relationship with God and dependence upon Him, rather than the MFC.
We always aim to grow meaningful relationships with each child that comes to the MFC. We want them to connect with their mentor, thereby having a trusting relationship with an adult who looks out for them and cares for them. It is therefore difficult when we realize that a family is able to function well without our involvement. We balance the relationships we have built with the child and their caregivers with their need to be independent.
When we see that a family is functioning well, we take a team decision to close with the family. We explain to the family that there are so many very needy children in the community that we need to make room for families who are needier than them. This is difficult for us, to say goodbye and to bring to a close years of work and involvement in a family’s life. This is also difficult for those children who enjoy attending the centre and have found good friends, spiritual support, and emotional support. However, it is part of our process and needs to be ongoing if we are going to grow and continue to help as many children in the community as God is calling us to.

Previously, we wrote about the “Z” family. They have been known to us for three years now. They are one such family with whom we have built significant relationships over the past three years. The children were orphaned after the death of their mother in early 2007. They were then cared for by their grandmother. The grandmother was elderly and rather frail. She died in December 2007, about four months after we had come to know the family. A woman from the community, Zandi, and her family offered to foster all of the children.
The children, now aged 16,13, 10, and 3 continue to live with Zandi and her family. The home has been extended and is comfortable and inviting. There are good relationships between the children and their caregivers. The children call Zandi “ma”. They have been receiving the Foster Care Grant for just over two years and this has certainly made a positive impact on the entire family. The grant enables the foster carer to provide for the physical needs of the children without putting the foster family under undue financial strain. This contributes significantly to the wellness of the children. This is evident in the way the children have adjusted to the foster care situation, to their ongoing progress at school, and to the positive relationships that they have developed with others at the Family Centre. They are in good health and by all accounts are happy.
Over the past three years we have helped in various ways. One child suffered sexual abuse, we accompanied the foster carer and child to the police station and provided support through the reporting process. That child received play therapy after the ordeal.
Another of the children was very involved in the Zulu dancing group and so developed a real sense of belonging in the Centre.
The youngest of the children has grown from an infant suffering from the loss of both her mother and grandmother in her 9 month old life, to a very vibrant and bubbly 3 and a half year old. She has attended the Early Childhood Development group for the duration of her time at the Family Centre.
The oldest child was very much affected by the multiple losses in her life. She also received play therapy. She has been through many different emotions and attitudes towards her foster mother as she has journeyed through adolescence. At present their relationship has developed into a good, close bond. They are able to communicate in a positive manner with one another.
They will be saying goodbye to the Family Centre at the end of August. It is with much sadness that we say farewell.