Foundation Play Skills for Bereaved Children

"Play is work for children- never underestimate the power of play to bring about healing" - Violet Oaklander

Recently two members of Ethembeni care worker staff facilitated a week long training workshop on Foundation Play Skills. Attendees consisted of several Ethembeni staff members along with staff members from the local Friends for Life organization.

The training centered around using play therapy interaction to help children affected by death and loss. Staff learned how to plan several different play sessions such as stories and puppets, clay and drawings and coping play. The training was originally developed by Rob Smetherham Bereavement Service for Children (RSBSC).

The training was a great success and all those who participated look forward to implementing their new found play skills therapy soon!

A special thanks to Linda Smallbones, Social Worker for Ethembeni who originally introduced the training workshop last year to a few members of the family center staff last year. Linda is thrilled to see the very same staff who attended the training now successfully facilitating the very same workshop!

The whole group of teachers and students together

Manchester United goes on a Soccer Tournament

Last Saturday our Soccer team participated in a soccer tournament near Edendale, up in the hills near Pietermaritzburg (KZN). Our team is made up of the older kids from the Family Centre and is named after the most famous team in the world, Manchester United. Very ambitious I must say, but you know, you shoot for the moon and even if you miss, you'll still land among the stars!

We arrived early in the morning with 18 of the boys and the three coaches Khlakla, Zwe and me (Richard) and after two hours of warming up and waiting we were up against one of the local teams. After a quick goal for the other team from a penalty, we were fortunate to quickly get the deserved equaliser before half time. The second half could have gone both ways but it was really our quality and better stamina which decided the game in our favour through another goal just before the final whistle. 2 - 1 for us and we were in the semi-final!

Some though love from the coach

The semi-final was awaiting and we played against one of the other local teams which we expected to be a lot stronger than our first opponent. Where we had hot (31 degrees) and sunny weather in the morning, the weather had changed now and it started drizzling.... There were chances for both teams but no goals until half time. After a pep talk from the coaches the boys went for the final push for the final..... The pitch got heavier from the rain and everyone was getting tired. We had some half chances but no goals so the game had to be decided by penalty kicks! Unfortunately we missed the first one but they also missed their third penalty so it was 4-4 after the first five kicks.

It was as the weather gods did not want a winner for the game as thunder broke out exactly at that moment before the sixth penalty was to be taken and the game was rained out. That was also the signal for us to pack up and hide. Even though we all were soaked we made it back to the car and we drove back to Mpophomeni.

The whole day there was a fantastic atmosphere around the field with lots of spectators and great music. All together a great day on the field which we spent together playing, bonding, chatting and dancing! And many thanks to the Family Centre for the sandwiches and snacks!

Warm Greetings from Richard Van Eek and Lisa Ring, two newest additions to the volunteer staff at Ethembeni. It’s hard to believe it has already been two weeks since we have recently arrived in the scenic Midlands region of KwaZulu Natal, South Africa. This is our first time in Africa and we are thrilled to be here and look forward to helping to make a difference in any way that we can by bringing a smile and helping to bring faith and hope to those affected by the HIV/AIDS epidemic in the region.

To give you a brief introduction of us, Richard Van Eek is originally from the Netherlands where he studied Finance at the University of Groningen in the Netherlands. He has worked in the financial sector for several years and has worked across the globe in Amst
erdam, Frankfurt, Sydney and Hong Kong. Lisa originally hails from the United States where she studied Political Science at Northeastern University. After working several years primarily in the field of Human Resources, Lisa most recently worked in Hong Kong where she was responsible for Asia Pacific recruitment for an International Business School. Both of us are very much looking forward to spending the next couple of months with Ethembeni and we especially look forward to highlighting our experiences via this blog.

Volunteering in Africa has long been an aspiration for both of us. In particular we were specifically interested in working with those affected by the HIV/ AIDS epidemic in South Africa. Through contact with Mr. Denzil Tryon we were fortunate to come in contact with Mr. Rouen Bruni, Chairman for Ethembeni. With continued outreach efforts over the phone and email over several months and the decision to leave established jobs in the private sector, we were ready to embark on our journey to South Africa.

We’ve just recently arrived last Monday, March 2nd and were greeted by Grant Edkins, Director at Ethembeni, along with Rouen Bruni. The wealth of knowledge and experience brought by both Grant and Rouen to the organization was a major factor in our decision to choose Ethembeni. We have spent the past two weeks observing and training and have primarily spent focused time at the Residential Care Unit as well as at the Mpophomeni Family Centre. We were also given the opportunity to cross train at neighboring NGO organizations such as CCP (Community Care Partners) in Pietermaritzburg as well as the Umvoti Aids Centre in Greytown. Both experiences were invaluable.

During our first few days at Ethembeni, we spent time visiting the facilities and meeting the amazing children, members and staff. On Thursday morning we joined the community volunteers and a staff member and took part in the weekly home care visits where food parcels were dropped for the family in need and counseling and prayers were provided as well. It was quite a moving experience and we were especially moved by how welcoming many community members were to having us in their home and how open many were to share their personal hardships. Although most of the conversations were conducted in Zulu, many wanted to ensure that as native English speakers, the closing prayer would be conducted in English for us all to understand which was quite touching.

There is more to come as we get up and running and it is our sincere hope that no matter how small or large, that we are able to make a positive impact on the community members we are servicing. Through continued education efforts, faith and hope we know this will continue to have a positive impact surrounding the stigma of the HIV/AIDS epidemic that this region continues to face.

A sincere thanks to Grant and Rouen for your passion, enthusiasm and vision for Ethembeni Ministry of Hope and we look forward to meeting and working with everyone over the next few months! --Lisa and Richard

What is Ethembeni HIV/Aids Ministry?

In the KwaZulu Natal Midlands, 12 kilometres from the town of Howick in South Africa is a settlement called Mpophomeni (The place next to the Water Fall). Of this community of 43 000 people, more than 80% are unemployed and more than a third are infected with HIV. In November of 2000, the Howick Community Church began a ministry to this community, specifically aimed at caring for those who are dying alone, hungry and without hope. The ministry is called Ethembeni, which means ‘Places of Hope’, and has the following mission statement:

‘To provide spiritual, emotional and practical assistance to families affected by HIV & AIDS in the Mpophomeni area through the provision of home based care, family support with a focus on vulnerable children and residential care for terminally ill people.’

Ethembeni has four specific programmes at present, a residential care unit, a family support programme, the Mpophomeni Family Centre working with orphans and vulnerable children and the mentoring of community based organisations. Today our family support program provides a holistic intervention incorporating not only home based care for the sick but also food security, income generation and psychosocial support. On average, we visit 45 - 50 families a month totalling over 200 adults and children.
The residential care centre is notable because it is community based, unlike most other institutions providing similar services in the area. Four people can be accommodated and cared for at any one time. Average monthly occupancy rates sit above 90% - indeed an essential service to the community.
The Mpophomeni Family Centre, a drop-in facility, cares for 70 orphans and vulnerable children a day by providing meals, psycho-social support and structured play activities. The core values of these three programmes are simple, God’s love and hope. Since the inception of these ministries, we have worked with over 500 HIV infected families, directly benefiting more than 2000 people.
We believe in developing sustainable community based organisations (CBO’s), so we are intentionally mentoring two CBO’s. Our shared goal is sustainable resources which glorify God.

Breaking the silence – living hope

Dudu Zulu (pictured) discovered she was HIV positive in 2000 when she became gravely ill with meningitis. She was sad and angry with God. While sitting on her bed one day, she had a vision of a man with white trousers coming into her room, sitting on her bed, holding her hand and promising: “If you go out and talk about the black spots that dirty your body, then you will be healed.” Dudu had the same vision twice more in a week and this prompted her to ask her pastor if she could share the vision and her status with her church fellowship. She was afraid of being rejected yet the man in the vision stated: “Don’t look at the big crowd. Focus on the small group who are encouraging you.” Faithfully she shared for HIV positive status and her church responded with unconditional love. Today she is regularly challenged by the Holy Spirit to share her testimony. God has given her peace in her soul but not in her body as she expected. Dudu says: “It is amazing. God has a purpose for my life.”

Ethembeni volunteers cared for Dudu through our home based care visits in 2001. When she became well enough she attended Ethembeni sewing classes and completed a home based carer course in 2002. In 2003 Ethembeni employed her because Dudu was transformed into living hope – sharing and caring for all those suffering in the same position as her. Today, she is a faithful servant of Jesus and a dedicated Ethembeni Ministry champion!

Why should we act in mercy?
A merely religious person, who believes God will favour him because of his morality and respectability, will usually have contempt for the outcast, “I worked hard to get where I am, and so can everyone else!” That is the language of the moralist’s heart. “I am only where I am by the sheer and unmerited mercy of God. I am completely equal with all other people.” That is the language of the Christian’s heart. When we see the HIV positive sick, the homeless, prostitutes, alcoholics, etc. we know that we are seeing ourselves. We may have lived respectable middle class lives, however we realise that spiritually we were just like these people. Physically and socially we may never have been where they are now, but spiritually we were outcasts just as they are, but by God’s grace we have been saved. A sensitive social conscience and a life poured out in deeds of mercy to the needy is the inevitable sign of a person who has grasped the doctrine of God’s grace. (Excerpts from Ministries of Mercy by Timothy J. Keller, 1997, PR Publishing, USA)

It is this new heart I pray for; Lord, that I would be so overcome with a deep understanding of your love for us that I would be set free to “Do nothing out of selfish ambition or vain conceit, but in humility consider others better than yourselves. Each of you should look not only to his own interests, but also to the interests of others” Phil 2:3-4.

We are family, my brother and sister and me!
These are the words of a popular pop song and yet unite us all at the Ethembeni Family Centre. Since 1st of July 2008, over 70 children, ranging from 6 months old to 19 years gather each day to share in family stories at the home of love in Mpophomeni. There is Jabu*, a little girl of 4, who loves to sing and dance (see picture of joyous celebrations). And she loves giving hugs to all visitors! Then there is Zimele*, a passionate 15 year old footballer who earned his “cromes” (soccer boots) by sanding down the windows and doors of the centre. There is Zama*, who writes poetry and whose only family is all of us at the centre. Many tears were shed when Sindi*, who came to the centre after it was discovered she was suffering abuse at her home, was placed in a foster home. Prayer is a part of our everyday activity and we celebrate each meal by saying grace and giving thanks to God for all He provides. (*All names changed.)

Together, we share in life each day. The key value connecting us is family. Please pray for love to be shared amongst our family. That grace and joy would fill the family centre and all of its’ people.

Will you join us today and become a “family builder?”
Choose from the following options:
- Pray for Ethembeni’s ministry
- Join us as a volunteer for a period of time: come and serve for a month or a year.
- Hold a fundraiser in aid of Ethembeni
- Donate once off and regularly e.g.
o R100/$10/€10 buys 3 food packs for a family each month
o R10 000/$1000/€1000 supports 5 care workers and their families for a month

For more information please contact:
Ministry Director: Grant Edkins email: director@ethembeni.co.za

Mobile: 0027 83 647 3977 and ph: 0027 33 330 5943

Website: www.ethembeni.co.za

Mother Theresa volunteer inspiration:
Being unwanted, unloved, uncared for, forgotten by everybody, I think that is a much greater hunger, a much greater poverty than the person who has nothing to eat.
We must find each other!